Last time we checked in with the downstairs neighbor, she was contemplating serving worm soup to dinner guests.
This evening, Stefanella’s Drive Thru Cultural Department brings you:
The Saga of the Neighbor: Part II
(ring ring…ring ring)
Stefanella? (hysterical shrill tone)
Uh oh. What’s wrong? What happened?
Do you have any cockroach spray? (on the verge of tears)
Uh uh. Sorry.
Do you know how to kill cockroaches? Like can you kill cockroaches? Like make them die? (Hysteria mixed with pleading)
Naw. I really can’t come down and do that. I’m sorry. I don’t know how to kill them (lie lie lie. We all know how to kill one if we have to)
Okay (choking back a sob) I’ll call another neighbor. I can’t deal with this. I have to have someone help me RIGHT NOW! (voice rising, shrill taking on higher tone) I can’t talk right now. I’m hysterical.
(to self) Nawwwww…Ya think?
**both parties hang up phones **
mwahahaha… (loud) Oh shit. The windows are open. (quieter to self)
to be continued…