This posting ran years ago on Craigslist. Recently a friend e-mailed it to me so I’m sharing it here. Although it’s ranty, frothing at the mouth and a lot of it’s garbage, some of it’s sorta funny.
Date: 2007-07-20, 2:01PM EDT
I dont have kids. My friends dont have kids. My experience with little kids is fairly limited. However, i have fairly extensive experience with junior high and high school kids. And y’know what? They’re spoiled, arrogant little assholes.
When I see some kid at the restaurant that wont take off his headphones or put away his PSP to eat dinner, I want to slap his parents in the face. When I watch Nanny 911 or Supernanny and I hear some beanbag housewife whining that she cant control her 3 year old, I want to kick my television set to the floor. When I hear some little crotchfruit at Meijers throwing a tantrum because he cant have a video game/candy bar/toy, I want to go up to him and scream at him as loudly as i possibly can, until my throat is raw and bleeding and i’m screaming a fine red mist all over this little shit’s face.
What the fuck ever happened to discipline? NO MEANS NO. It doesnt even have to involve spankings, I was spanked maybe 3 times when I was a kid. Those 3 times were enough. YOU’RE the parent, YOU’RE the adult, YOU ARE IN CONTROL. I’m sorry, but if you’re 30 and cant control a 3 year old you belong in a home with someone spooning applesauce into your stupid piehole. If you dont want to take the time to be a parent, dont have kids. It IS a choice, if abortion is against your beliefs then give the baby up to one of the thousands of couples who cant have kids but desperatly want them. (unless their gay, because we all know gay people cant raise babies. two people who love eachother are only allowed children if the peepees dont match.)
Parenting takes time and effort, I’m pretty sure on that one, and by time and effort I do NOT mean plunking them down in front of the television for 5 hours. It does not mean buying a 4 year old an X-BOX 360 so “he wont get bored.” HE’S 4. A four year old can play with a box and some lawn chairs for hours on end, and be perfectly happy. However, when the kid is stacking the lawnchairs on the box and then trying to stand on top of it and falls, YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO SUE THE LAWN CHAIR COMPANY. You were supposed to be watching him, hell, maybe helping him build his fort, not sitting on your ass in the other room talking on the phone, painting your nails, and watching Dr. Phil. You are not entitled to monetary damages because you’re an idiot. I wish I was a judge, I’d be like Judge Judy except with more profanity.
People, the world has been dumbed down enough. Stop freaking out and whining about television/music/games/movies and fucking it up for adults. You dont like the vulgar music your kids listen to? I agree, it’s a little disturbing to have a 10 year old walking around singing “my humps” or “crazy bitch”, so maybe dont buy them the cd’s? I like the cd’s and I’m 26 years old, but because of your bitching certain stores wont carry the cds I might enjoy.
You dont like violent video games? Quit waiting in line for 234231 hours the day after Thanksgiving to buy them x-box nine billion.
Does your 8 year old really need a shirt that says TEASE and itty bitty shorts that say JUICY on the butt? You want to paint her a big red sandwich board that says “PEDOPHILES PLEASE LOOK AT ME” while you’re at it?
Exercise a little discipline and maybe some personal self-control. You dont have to buy them everything they ask for. Or, if some analogies might help you out here, quit digging your own grave, quit making the bed that you will sleep in, quit shooting yourself in the foot. Do not buy a video game and then freak out and attempt to sue video game companies because it “made” your kid attempt to torch your neighbors cat. Do some research. Wait, that might take up some of your Days of our Lives programming time, maybe try it at night, after you shoot your husband down for sex because you’ve been too tired “watching the kids” all day. He can sneak off to his laptop to look at porn, you can sit in the living room and actually try making yourself a better parent. It’s so much easier to do that without those pesky kids around.
Fuck you and your whiny, spoiled, irritating, pussy kids.
(and before you email me saying YOU’RE NOT A MOTHER SO YOU DONT KNOW, realize that I dont care. Whether or not I’m a mother has nothing to do with how crappy you are as a parent. When I see your child, it’s in public, where they should be on their best behavior. If this is how they act in public, good fucking luck with them at home.)
- it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests